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Economical woes extend farther than just those that concern our national deficit. I mean, nothing really these days is recession proof. Not your 401K, your social security and as of late, not even your checking account. With banks and other financial institutions going under one after another like toppling dominos, its hard to really “recession proof” too much of life. But does this include your relationship?
Statistics show that majority of marriages that end in divorce cite financial problems as the main reason. Either he’s not making enough money, or he makes plenty but is cheap and wont distribute it evenly – he’s buying big screen tv’s and Jordan tennis shoes while she and the kids eat sandwiches during the day instead of eating out and live quite frugally.
Whatever your situation is, now is a great time to talk with each another about finances. The key in all of this is communication. It’s essential to talk with each other about the status of your finances, both what you have going in and what you have coming out – regardless of how awkward it may be. It’s better to be up front and honest about what you have then to try and ignore it and hope it will go away. When you begin to make conscious decisions about the things that affect your life, you’ll begin to see a change in your spending, saving and an overall change in your relationship.
It is also important to remember that secret spending is not sexy! Yes, I know how hard it can be to have to walk past that new D&G bag at Macy’s but if it means keeping the peace at home then it is something that has to be done. Your relationship will thank you for it in the end… and look on the bright side; once you begin making smart decisions about your money, your relationship will essentially be better off and lead him to buy you that bag on his own!
Talking about money and facing the fact that you lack it or have it in abundance, can obviously be a good thing. But why does money really pull relationships apart? I’m lead to believe that is because there are other underlying reasons that the stress caused from money woes seems to bring out. You already have a problem telling your man that you hate when he leaves his socks on the floor but he seems to have no problem telling you that you spent to much money eating out during your lunch break. Little things like this can lead to larger things and cause you and your mate to go blow for blow – tit for tat.
The key in making sure your relationship survives any economical woes you may be experiencing is that you re-evaluate your definition of wealth. Oftentimes we cant change the amount of money we bring it, but we can change our perception of wealth. Expand your definition to include all of your riches — good health, hobbies, pets, friendships and, most importantly, your spouse and family.
Folks, you have to realize what’s really important to you, thinking about all the riches in your life besides money. If you are conscious of this and show appreciation of the other person in your relationship, and other members of your family, it takes away some of sting of what you may have to give up when financial circumstances limit you. We all have the problem of often thinking about losses instead of our riches, or the things that make us feel wealthy besides money. And the bottom line is that relationships are much more enriching than money. Would you ever trade your spouse for a job? Not likely. But – whether you know it or not – you are doing exactly that when you let financial problems ruin a relationship.
So next time you find yourself in a financial pinch or your faced with what may be an uncomfortable conversation about money ask yourself, would I rather give up my insecurities and wealth expectations or give up my family instead? It’s a hard question I know, but it will definitely help you keep things in perspective.
Talk Back: Have you ever broken up with someone because of money? Are any of your relationships currently strained because of money? Has the economical situation affected your family’s pockets? If so, how do you deal?
